boys are and always will be the worst.

for lunch today i made pasta or as most and normal people say it is called raman noodles..it stumps me as to why they call it that. i dont even know if they call actual pasta, pasta. but it is only the boys cause the chief took the girls to a movie. im jealous cause the boys and i dont get along. especially daniel and i. i think he is out to get me. he seriously is the most challenging part about my job. just one out of the 11. AND HES A FRIGGEN' BIOLOGICAL CHILD. i remember the first time i saw him. he didnt have a shirt on, and he had on some jogging pants. he was shy, then. i remember thinking how adorable he was. then i was hired and saw the monster come out of him. {not exactly, he isnt the grudge or anything} but hes pretty close, and some days he has really cute moments and hes super helpful but then there are days where he cries because he asks his mom to make him cereal and she tells him he can make it himself. ps hes 8. or when i ask him to go outside and he cries about that.."im sorry i didnt know that was child abuse to make you play outside..DURING THE SUMMER" and sometimes when bona comes inside because his feelings are hurt cause his brothers are not including him on the game they're playing on the trampoline, i tell them to make up a game 4 people can play rather than just 3..and daniel says he cant think of one..so my theory is if you have no imagination to where you cant think up a game..you can sit in your room by yourself and think or you can think really hard of a game that involves 4 persons..he decides to go to his room and think cause thats easier, after yelling at me cause there are no games that include four people on a trampoline? or when he doesnt like the food his mom makes but i serve it to him and he tells me how bad of a cook i am. hes super fun that boy is. makes me not want to have kids more often than not. but despite all of my woes with a stubborn and a lot of other words i cant say because his mom reads my blogs, {shout out cherish} 8 year old. i have a 4 year old who eats her sandwiches from the middle? so therefore there is peanutbutter all over her face..but do i care? no. because shes so darn cute. and she actually ate all of her lunch. so were going to proceed in having a dance party to 90s pop music on my pandora playlist. you can join if ya want.

im going to bear lake tomorrow, are you excited?

totally tuesday

today was a pretty hot day.. thats exactly why i stayed inside ALL day. except for when i went to taco bell to celebrate the fact that a genius hispanic person created such food and then let taco tuesday be a holiday..to me atleast. i didnt have to work until 1 pm. ten points for the bosswoman. i fed my car and gave her a very brief bath..ya know, with those pointless cleaning things at the pump. they dont work especially when you have bug guts all over your grill and side windows and friggen' windshield. seriously im from north carolina, i lived in eden which my house wasnt in the country but if i drove east far enough id get there..and ive never had soo many families of bugs on my car like i do here in logan..its gross and sad for the families. and i found the bigger golds gym..because the golds gym that i went to when i first moved here was the size of my bathroom.{not really, but seriously it was teeny} so today as i was driving to the newmans i found the big golds gym..it was truly a happy hour. first taco bell then finding the big golds gym, hallelujah & congrats to eva she made a new record for herself. she cried a whopping 15 times. i counted. and this all happened after 1pm. and she fell asleep at 7:30 so maybe shes pmsing too.

after dinner i fourwheeled the trash down to the driveway thats 10miles away from the house and i RAN OVER A SNAKE. {sorry mace} i dont like snakes but i hate running over things, especially animals. i squirm like a little baby and make weird noises and my face probably looks super foolish too. but i didnt kill it. cause when i was driving back up to the house it was gone. so its ok. do snakes have nine lives like cats? or do they just have their organs all spread throughout their body so you have to really nail them in the right spot to kill them or even make them gush out blood. but this was also a satisfying thing cause it means im not a fatso. cause if i were i think it would have splattered out its liver or something. so go me for not being a moo. 

im going to bear lake this weekend and i am so excited! and there will be fireworks and maybe ill find some hot boy on a jetski or something, wouldnt that be groovy. 

screw apple, i tap it{which im suppose to}and this happens.?

she is a human caterpillar. after i tuck her in that is.

&just look at that face..i could eat her..cuhhhutaaay

HAPPY TACO TUESDAY EVERYONE.

random fact: my boss was in dazed & confused

and you can totally see her.

memory lane

last night i was searching through my old email {staceyyo10 ..how cool was i?}and all of my facebook notifications from the last two years was on there. so i started from the very beginning and it started right at the beginning of my senior year. and holey moley was i stupid. senior year was my favorite though. it wasnt just my favorite grade like it is for everyone else but in life everything was perfect. i kinda had the whole attitude of going out with a bang cause i knew i was going to be leaving in august, just two months after graduation. i guess you could say i stopped caring about useless things which is good but then somethings did come and bite me in my butt. i learned a lot about the people that i thought were my bestfriends. about the boy that i always thought i was in love with. about my parents. about myself. i am very grateful for all the obstacles life has given me but sheesh someone could've told the big man to cut me a break .. cause things happened right after another. i smashed the bug right infront of my house..yea it can happen..my precious puppy was killed the same week while i wasnt home. i decided not to go to my senior prom cause i knew everyone would be drunk or be waiting to get drunk and looky there.. 8 people got drinking tickets. do you believe in karma? i believe in karma especially after that night. but all in all it was a blast. the hours lou would spend in my kitchen just making random foods. the nights egg,lou,gab,emil,britt,am, and myself would sit and watch the hannah montana movie for the sol purpose of learning the hoedown throwdown. spring break was the best. helping gab with all her mentrouble is seriously something someone should win an award for..so i spell my name with an E, you can put that on my nobel prize. lou and egg quoting fired up like it was a chore. midnight fishing in caswell. steph got married to her bestfriend. new years was just well just crazy. all the snow days. and graduation oh that was the happiest day of my life to date. then summer that will have to be another post cause that summer was the best three months of my life. seriously. i sometimes wish i could go back and relive high school, just to change somethings but then i realized a lot of things wouldnt be .. that should be. and

"everything happens for a reason"

WELCOME WELCOME SABBATH MORNING

that was for you red.

BABIES

i honestly believe its a necessity to have some sort of a baby in your life. max is on the otherside of the country so i need a baby in utah right now. so of course i turn to stephanie .."stephanie please make a baby to fulfill all my hearts little desires" "no, they whine poop pee cry ill get no sleep blah blah blah" .. everyone else who thinks she is selfish and should get slapped raise your hand. and you see stephanie and i have kinda had this unspoken race going on our entire lives for vanessas whole heart. throughout the time we lived at home it was kinda inevitable that stephanie was winning cause unlike steph .. i had friends,i liked to stay out late, and talk back to my parents because i thought i was large and in charge. but now since neither of us are home im not sure who is winning. sometimes i think its me cause you see vanessa laughs at basically anything i say and more than not i say things that are completely inappropriate because i like to see the expressions on peoples faces when i open my mouth..sometimes its great and then sometimes i really wish i just kept what i just said to myself..but theres no filter there from my brain to my mouth so whats a girl to do..and maybe or maybe not when my siblings will say something completely stupid i might just let a bird fly into the room.and vanessa doesnt laugh at steph cause steph isnt funny..shes said maybe 5 things that are actually really funny in her whole life..ive kept count. but they do talk on the phone everyday..vanessa and i dont do that. so it stumps me as to who is winning this life long war between the two of us. 

my plan overall is to have a baby before stephanie and i know that will make vanessa love me the most cause you see my boston has an obsession with babies..thats why she has so many friggen' kids..but she was an only child so lets cut her a break. i mean if you were to give your mother her first grandchild she would never forget that obviously so its going in the books that im bearing the first grandchild..he/she may or may not be brown or white it all depends on where i am with my life..ive already told my parents that if im not married by the time im 30 ill just become a travel guru woman and pick up my bald brown african baby in some crazy country that i probably will have to read out loud to pronounce it. and then have possibly two dogs. cause dogs are basically babies with fur. and we will live a beautiful life and i will win vanessas heart forever because not only will i have an amazing career being the best psychologist ever and she will be so proud of me but also i will have not only her first grandchild but he'll be round and chunky and bald and BROWN. nobody can say no to a brown child. its a good plan right?

*vanessa may or may not have told me to lie today for the very first time..i hope she takes back all the awful things she ever said to me after she found out i lied to her..and i bet nowadays she wishes i did lie to her. 

*i just ordered a papa johns pizza online..whatup 21st century 

*im watching anchorman and its the number one movie quoted in my house.

HAVE A HAPPY WEEKEND

call me friggen' betty

CROCKER, THAT IS.

monday was bonas birthday. he turned that awesome age of carelessness 7

i gave him a duke shirt that i picked up while i was home. he wore it the next day.

but for his birthday cake i was instructed by the chief to make a cookie cake.

for this job i have learned to cook but most things in life come with directions well so

did this cookie cake i had to make BY SCRATCH. wtf. ive never made anything from

scratch that was suppose to be as delectable as a cookie cake. i was terrified the whole time

that i was going to totally ruin the thing. 

everyone loved it.

i even had a crazy amount of dough left afterwards

..come to find out big d and rom.com were stealing the cookie dough

obviously when i wasnt manning the kitchen..like i have too, cause the children eat like little lards 

but i was very proud of myself cause i have mastered the kitchen completely.

not only am i totally OCD about cleaning the dang part of the house..but i can cook in one too.

and this is for your viewing pleasure

sunflowers and sunshine

TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER. you want to know another thing that is my favorite. playgrounds. i wish i respected my playground at that good ol' leaksville spray a little more. i think i played on it more after i graduated from the fifth grade than i actually did when i attended the dang school. i remember one specific time my senior year it snowed a ton..more than the deep south has seen. me and my closest gal friends treked over to the old elementary school that lives on the same street as my parents house. it was quite funny actually cause we had on snow clothes ya know like..bibs and hats and gloves and rainboots {snow boots just arent cool enoough or pretty} we had to jump a fence cause we were too lazy to walk any further in the snow up to our ankles. im pretty sure egg got stuck on the fence if i remember correctly. and then lou just dove right into the snow in the big field oh it was so funny. good times with those girls i had. but back to summertime..today the little boys, ramadan and daniel had a baseball game..and well i decided since there is a nice little playground at the park we shall sit there and spit sunflowers seeds on the ground and catch some vitamin D. i had one thing to tackle first.. the ipods. you see every child in this newman family that i have grown to love has a dang ipod. and they only use it for one thing..games. they dont understand why i dont have games on mine and that all i have is music..they think thats so weird {honest, they tell me all the time} so i couldnt recall if any of the kids had gone outside today while we were at home, so i told the boys to give me their ipods so they could play..well obviously "playing" is torture cause they both whined like little girls. 5 minutes later they were having a jolly ol' time on the playground. then they got bored of the playground after 13 minutes of playing and started asking for their ipods..no way jose. i gave them permission to roll in the grass {with african hair this is basically the stupidest thing to do} i gave them permission to wrestle. and i was finding some laughs in making eva run to every tree in that park. sometimes i think of her as a puppet..is that bad? i feel like thats bad {sorry cherish, i didnt mean that} then us girls harmony,faith,eva..we lounged in the grass and talked about girl things..actually we were spitting sunflower seeds at each other and eva kept farting and then she started to eat grass which actually wasnt that surprising at all. then it was finally time for the boys game to start after an hour of relaxing at the playground. 

i dont know what it is about little league baseball but it melts my heart. i dont know if its how the helmets   are way to big for their heads..or the way they practically spin around when they swing at the ball. or maybe its the way their little midget legs try to get to first base. but you can guarantee that if i have myself little misters when i get to that age of reproducing..they will be enrolled into some dang little league baseball. and plus what girl doesnt like baseball pants..ya feel me?

now please enjoy my telephones pictures of our adventure.

 when i like daniel best..when hes asleep

after i took his ipod..his five minute drama queen session

the glorious playground 

rolling rolling rolling

UFC?

of course the black girl won the race

evatard took second like a champ

they then drank all my dang fiji water..nobody understands the term "swig"

i think what started this whole escapade was me telling her that my 

cat use to eat grass when her tummy hurt..of course evas started to hurt after

i told her that and then she started to eat grass..go figure

she was OVER the baseball game..after the first inning

then i surprised the kids with a drive to jamba juice for myself.

have a happy week ya'll

21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21

today stephanie my dearest sister turned 21. she basically acts like she is 30 so i dont think she was as excited to turn 21 as most people are .. like me.  but we celebrated all weekend .. well i did. by shopping

and i did a pretty darn good job at it. got a dress from banana republic for $15 bucks. yup im basically a pro. i bought stephanie these cute sandels cause she always wears these disgusting 2 dollar flip flops from walmart and everytime i see her she always has them on and they make me want to vomit so my gift to her was some new flippin' shoes. she loved them and then it was by one get the other half off..so of course i bought a new pair of sandels!! so great that american eagle is. i asked if we could go to a bar on sunday and she didnt agree to that..some reason about breaking the sabbath and the fact we arent allowed to drink {she didnt read the sarcasm in it at all} but we did skip church..AFTER I WAS ALREADY FRICKEN READY AND WAITING, do they tell me this news. she had a awesome day too..cause we just layed around. it was pretty much perfection. for my 21st birthday well be having a better day cause its on a friday and as everyone already knows..im much much cooler than stephanie.

 i love you stephanie and happy birthday.

happy fathers day to my very own charlie chaplin

TO MY DEAREST CHARLIE CHAPLIN, {my dad version not the famous one}

i thank you for having crazy adolscent years that make me laugh everytime we discuss them. thank you for keeping your college paddle in our living room to where i could use as a weapon when needed to defend myself from your giant offspring sarah. thank you for fighting in the vietnam war and defending our country and not dying in the process. thank you for becoming a doctor and making that cash flow so you could then eventually buy me all my greedy heart desired while i lived with thee. thank you for defending me when other peoples fathers hated me and made me cry. thank you for giving me your sense of humor. thanks for coming to all my dance recitals and some of my dance competitions even though you were always late. thank you for not dying when you broke your neck. thank you for making me do things around the house so that im not a lazy bum now. thanks for coming to my soccer games. thank you for pushing me to do all my homework {even though i will never ask you to help me with my homework,ever ever again} thank you for not yelling at me when i was bawling my eyes out when i totaled the bug RIGHT INFRONT OF OUR HOUSE. thank you for being concerned for my safety when i went to africa with the newmans. thank you for having gran as a mom that is so great. thank you for teaching me that i should and can have the best in life. thank you for being the best dad ever and for being proud of me and all my accomplishments. every girl deserves to have a father just like you. 

and for fathers day i will dedicate my nap to you..as well as this blog post. i havent sent your card yet, but its quite funny. i vote you watch every single leslie neilson movie ever made or kung fu panda or go ahead and sit in your chair and watch a james bond marathon..or spaceballs which will forever be a classic in your heart. i love you dad and wish i were celebrating this glorious day with you today. 

LAKE POWELL

this week was way and when i say way i mean like out of the ball park way different than how i envisioned it in my head. it was so peaceful and serene and not hectic, in my mind. and then BAM we get there and its like a madhouse X 50. the majority of the passengers on the boathouse were under the age of 12 and in my 19 years of brown life i have never witnessed such turmoil . the children seriously went crazy.

caleb wouldnt put his stupid gamecube boy thing down and i dont think he went outside cause hes the only one that doesnt have to apply lotion and aloe on 5 times every hour and honestly i dream of the day that gameboy breaks..sultan and bona wont keep their hands off of each other and daniel doesnt listen to anything i say. harmony complains about anything and everything she can. eva has this whole "im only talking to my mommy so even though you answer for mommy it doesnt count..so im just gonna keep repeating mommy until she answers me even if its 100 times" and then today at lunch she is crying for who knows what reason and blames me for hurting her?? and both of my hands were on my jumbo jack cheeseburger. strange one that child is. i wonder what all she says i do to her when im not there to defend myself with my jumbo jack burger? ramadan and faith really didnt ever bug me..i mean faith has her moments but for the most part she was always happy to see me and listened to the things i asked her to do. so 10 points for those two!

 but i debated a lot of the week if i was ready to job hunt..thats how bad it was. and i know that seems a little dramatic but boy it was kinda like the last straw ya know? but what family vacation isnt crazy and as far from normal especially since the 6 and under crowd out numbers the adults. so im giving them all a pass..because at the end of the day..i love the newmans like my own family. i guess thats why they annoy me..cause i look at them like my own family.does that even make sense? whatever..but there were a lot of fun parts about the trip though i mean im not a downer mcdownster all the time..just after long weeks.

i rode a jetski for the first time and im a pro already. the scenery was beautiful all week long. dinner everynight was the best..and i have gotten my fill of gnomeo and juliet..i watched it about 3 times!! oh and i found out my motion sickness is way worse on a boat then when i sit in a car. i viewed a national monument and saw a ton of navajo indians or the extended families of navajo indians. i have come to love cocoa butter because boy do i look like i wiped chalk all over me down here in southern utah but all in all it was a splendid week with its normal craziness that you ask for.. being a nanny for 11 children.

HAVE A HAPPY WEEEKEND.

THURSDAY

yesterday i found this

at the newmans house..the kids came running upstairs screaming "THERES A BLACK DOG OUTSIDE" so of course being the black dog lover i am..i frolicked outside to meet roofus {so original} but as soon as i saw him i first thought of my little puppy sunday.

i loved that puppy more than anything and i was devasted when i found out that 

someone carelessly killed her with a hit and run INFRONT OF MY HOUSE!

she lived a very happy life. and she is buried in my parents backyard. 

but i realized that roofus{who i was calling thursday before i learned his name} would have been the best little black boyfriend for sunday. i know they would have loved each other. 

 i played with him until we headed on our journey to st. george..a whole freakin' 6 hour trip. FAIL

i have done more traveling in this one week than i have ever intended too. 

monday : i flew from nc to utah = 8hours roughly but then the time change confuses everything

monday night : drove from riverton to logan = an hour an a half

thursday : drove to saratoga springs = 2 hours

thursday night : drove to st. george with 9 whiny/cranky children = 4 hours

tomorrow we will be heading to lake powell and it takes 4 hours i think?! stupid.

but were excited & this little turd will get in the lake!! 

grass rhymes with ..

this black and white photo is of my two little dolls

faith & eva

faith thinks she queen of the world and that rules dont apply in her 5 year old little life and eva thinks she is honestly princess ariel .. like the disney mermaid..no joke. 

its been a little crazy in the newman househould with having 11 children and moving into a house and having boxes all over the place. so im not sure what to put focus on the kids or the house. but today i got a lot done.

1. i made breakfast

2. cleaned up breakfast

3. started laundry

4. unpacked the older girls bathroom and made it look beautiful

5. cleaned the garage..like a champ might i add, my dad would be proud

6. took the kids to mcdonalds and drove the oh so trendy 15 passenger van

7. ate rumbi because the kids have successfully made me hate mcdonalds with a passion

8. finished laundry

9. moved more boxes

10. made dinner

11. cleaned up dinner

..then i finally get some me time and those two little darlings at the top of this page decided to roll around in some grass. for eva its not that big of a deal and she probably didnt even know what she was doing because well shes 4 and is not aware of basically anything her little brain thinks up. but faith .. oh that vicious little 5 year old..she has a fro..like a grown black man fro..its impressive dont get me wrong but she definitely doesnt understand that its probably the most confusing thing about her. especially if there is grass in it.. THAT WONT COME OUT. so i put the two brainiacs in the tub. grass is starting to float around everywhere and it was grossing them out but they can roll around in it?! i dont get it. all in all .. it took about 30 minutes for me to get all of the grass just out of faiths hair. and it was a pain in my {the word that rhymes with grass} because she complained the whole time.."youre pulling my hair to hard" "its hot" "the waters cold" "i cant see" "i want my hair in a ponytail" is it bad that i wanted to just accidently drop the brush on her head ..really hard? i love her but goodness me. so i took out all my frustration at golds tonight. it was perfection.

&

were going to lake powell tomorrow and im super excited. more excited than any of the kids because half of them dont even get in the water?! i know..its ridiculous. 

happy hump day.

i need cheerwine

no seriously.. i NEED it. i am so tired today. its not like it gives me super power energy it just makes everything so much better..kinda like the sun. maybe all i need in life is cheerwine and the sun?! and maybe the beach..and gabtron..and possibly faith or harmony..i still cant decide which one wins my whole heart. maybe just eva, cause she is the only one that actually listens to me. and bailey or if sunday could rise from the dead id definitely take sunday. and a bojangles near by or biscuitville..more than likely id take biscuitville its not as greasy. but dont get me wrong..i do love me some BO TIME. and my boston..boston and i have gotten so much closer i feel like on our two little hour drive to the airport yesterday.."mom im gonna be honest with ya.." she cringes every time i ever say im gonna be honest. and im pretty sure my favorite part about me being home was the last night i was there..oh the joys of a trampoline or sheetz with creepy women asking leon for money..when I bought him his stupid slusshie and lunchable im pretty sure he never even ate. i would probably bring that night with me too. and jamba juice, my new residence is only a short few miles from jj and oh it melts my heart..it does. strawberry wild for every meal is a must. maybe then i wont have to buy groceries..cause I hate grocery shopping..especially when im hungry cause then i just buy stupid food..like tomatoe soup {i dont even like tomato soup or tomatoes for that matter} and there is an einsten bagel shop right beside jamba..and down the street is a golds gym.. LOGAN HAS EVERYTHING. except for cheerwine.. because people its a necessity. north carolina has cheerwine..it was born there for crying out loud. and as red said last night as i called her crying because im a wimpbaby .. "its because youre not here anymore, so youll miss it for a few days and then you wont think about it as much" {i wasnt crying because i was back in utah but for the things i left in nc..got it?! } and shes right.. so today and for the next few days..probably until i leave for lake powell..ill really really really miss north carolina. and ill really really need cheerwine.

la playa

every first weekend of june my dad has a presidential doctor something ma bob conference and its at the beach ..perfect eh?! so instead of doing family reunions we do this little family beach trip. we all leave wanting to kill each other and looking like lobsters but its totally worth it. and it was a great ending to my time home!! 

now lets go back to utah and go to lake powell with the newmans.